Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world, everyone will agree with this. Where does this magical feeling come from? Is it created by butterflies in the stomach or impulses in the heart? Many scientists believe that the first notes of falling in love they occur in just a fraction of a second.
And despite the fact that we all know what it is to love, there is something that still worries many. There is one topic that is still very hotly debated — love at first sight. There are two camps:
As they say: "it will be tolerated, slyubitsya" or a similar "in love, all means are good". Who is right? And does the same one exist? magical love at first sight?
Psychologists believe that everyone can fall in love at first sight. However, according to the conducted research, it becomes clear that most often impetuous, optimistic and energetic people fall in love quickly and at lightning speed. They are also easily aroused and infected by interesting ideas and activities. Such people are very easy-going and ready to support any proposal and initiative.
But there are some exceptions. So, for example, a reserved, shy person can fall in love at first sight, an inexperienced lover. This often happens when people think that they have met the very "ideal" invented in their head. Shy and closed people most like to go inside and fantasize. That's not a bad thing. But, unfortunately, after a long time of communication with the second half, they strongly they are disappointed, because the opposite sex does not meet their expectations.
By the way, the famous English playwright William Shakespeare believed in magical love at first sight. "He did not love who did not immediately fall in love," the poet confidently said. But for some reason, many people relate to love at first sight they are very skeptical and do not support the old romantic.
Let's open a secret: falling in love always happens at lightning speed, in a short time. Scientists have found that in order to fall in love with a person, it takes only 15-30 seconds. What can you do during this time? An ordinary person is fine, but his brain has time to evaluate all the necessary parameters (both physical (figure, height, hair and eye color), and psychological (intelligence, sincerity, openness)). Therefore, when meeting so often advised to smile.
On a subconscious level, it works like bait, and you are perceived as a friendly and nice person. Therefore, from a scientific point of view, love is always at first sight. But not everything is as easy as in scientific formulas and equations. There are examples of couples who first worked or studied hand in hand for 5 years, but only got together a few years later. Rather in total, the atmosphere of the office simply did not give the subconscious a chance to evaluate a person from the side of a future satellite. Intuition was blunted by the norms of behavior at work and the charter. In each case, you need to deal with it in a separate order.
No matter how much you fell in love and built a relationship where you weren't dealing with love in the first stage as such. The first feeling that we experience after the previously mentioned 30 seconds is rather a light fall in love. It occurs not in the head, but on a hormonal and physiological level. These are the same "butterflies in the stomach" that everyone uses to define their life. falling in love as a feeling. Have you noticed?
My heart starts beating faster, my palms start sweating, my words get confused, and my head is in chaos. Such emotions are more likely to be sexual attraction to the opposite sex. It doesn't last long, but you won't forget it. All emotions are on the limit, heartbeat it becomes more frequent, mood swings appear. Sometimes this feeling lasts for a whole day, someone for a month, and someone does not get out of this state at all, constantly feeding the relationship with new emotions and passion. When, then, does that "love"appear?
The most surprising thing is that according to scientific research, according to research, falling in love turns into true love only in 13% of unions. Yes, the statistics are not encouraging at all. This means that many "butterflies in the stomach" disappear after a few days, months, or years simply without a trace. But after all, there are also unions in which falling in love not only turns into a strong love, but also into loyalty, loyalty, and respect. How do you keep the feeling of falling in love and turn it into love?
"WHEN'S THE WEDDING?"
After a period of intense infatuation, it's up to you to decide how this fairy tale ends. If you get to know each other, travel, do things together, and develop, then passion will slowly develop into respect and true, strong, time-tested and obstacle-tested love. Many people know the phrase of friends and relatives: "When is the wedding?". So they start talking after a month of relationships. They can also add: "And when are you going to have kids give birth?".
And it often happens that relationships drag on, turn into a routine, and there are no thoughts of a wedding. Here is a vivid example of how falling in love simply disappears, and love does not appear in its place. But if the relationship develops into a happy marriage, then here is another example — an example of continuing love at first sight. So it still exists.
MISTAKES OF YOUTH
All of us in our youth are emotional, risky, crazy. Falling in love like a flash obscures everything, and we stop seeing the world as it is. How often do they say " looking at the world through rose-colored glasses."
Mikhail Bulgakov wrote in his famous novel about the great love of the Master: "Love jumped out in front of us, as a murderer jumps out of the ground in an alley, and struck us both at once! So strikes the lightning, so strikes the Finnish knife!".
At a young age, a big role attraction and sexuality play a role. And it seems — here it is, the perfect life partner. But often such unions fall apart. Emotions fade into the background and lovers realize that they do not have common interests, or even different life positions. That's why it's so important to talk. Emotions and love will go away, and communication, understanding, comfort-will remain with you. By you forever.
DESIRE, LOVE, ATTACHMENT
Scientists have an unspoken division of the process called "love": desire, falling in love and attachment.
Spoiler alert: Eyesight returns after a wedding and many years of marriage. But more on that later.
Here it is worth mentioning the halo effect. This is a kind of distortion of perception, namely the result of the general impression of the individual. For example, when we think that people with a more attractive looks are better than mental abilities. We want to believe that our beloved is the one we dreamed of. We attribute positive qualities that may not exist in reality. Therefore, the concept of "love at first sight" appears. This is neither bad nor bad. good.
After all, you can not flirt, butterflies in the stomach are good at the first stage, then you should look at the world soberly. Otherwise, there is a chance to make a mistake. There is also a negative halo effect. When it is possible to have an ideal companion, you do not even consider as a contender because of appearance, hair color, height, and so on. You don't even get a chance to get to know each other, which means you won't destroy the myths that have developed in the first 30 seconds.
Therefore, although rationally such a phenomenon as "love at first sight" is very stupid and frivolous (how can you seriously fall in love in 30 seconds?), but in but that's exactly what happens. We fall in love with an actor in a favorite movie from the first scene, with a pumpkin latte from the first sip, with a dress in the window from the first second, with shoes on the stand from the first glance. That's just a dress you will wear a couple of times and forget, and with a loved one will build a future life.
Based it is necessary to understand and share all the stages of such a beautiful feeling as love, talk with the other half, get to know each other better. Maybe your intuition did not let you down and this is your faithful companion in life?
Love is something special for each person, so you can not say exactly what it should be to be. Love has no age, no time, no quality. Therefore, if you were able to fall in love at first sight, it's wonderful, but the main thing is to be able to keep this love and carry it through the years.
The article was reviewed and edited by Papa Vlada.
The original source of the article is published on the website
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